Montessori Homeschooling and Empowered Parenting
I challenge you to think of one activity that exposes your child to math, language and science, while helping her develop concentration, motor skills, and delayed gratification. It’s not found in workbooks, and you probably won’t see it taking place regularly in most schools (unless they’re Montessori schools).
If you want to know what it is, click here!
Note: You’ll find our fabulous, healthy, and toddler-approved recipe at the end of this post! Try it out and let us know if you like it!
I love to cook, and I’d love to include Zach every time I’m in the kitchen. But as a working mom, I rarely get more than 15 minutes to cobble together a semi-healthy meal during the week. Instead of pressuring myself to involve my toddler in weeknight dinner preparation, Zach and I bake muffins on the weekends, and we’ve been making the same recipe for the past couple of months.
I didn’t have in mind the Montessori principle of repetition when I decided to repeat the same recipe over and over. It was simply a tasty and healthy recipe that worked well, and I didn’t have time to research new ones. However, it soon dawned on me that revisiting the same recipe was EXACTLY the right thing to do. Through repetition, both Zach and I have honed our skills and get more enjoyment from the activity. Since I know the recipe, I can be well-organized, which allows me to observe Zach more closely. I can notice what skills he needs to work on and which new responsibilities I can delegate to him. Zach, meanwhile, becomes more confident in his abilities and his self-esteem increases with each achievement.
Here are a ten things I’ve learned from baking with my two-year old:
1. PREPARE: I try to pull out all the ingredients and equipment before I start, and leave them out of arm’s reach of my toddler. Children have a natural impulse to explore with their hands, and you really don’t want your child to test the law of gravity on a carton of eggs or a bag of flour while you’re searching for the muffin tin.
2. KNOW YOUR RECIPE: If there are any time-consuming preparation steps that don’t involve your toddler (such as defrosting), do them ahead of time.
3. BUSY HANDS: If you need to divert your attention from the cooking process (to put things away, wash an item, etc.), give your toddler something to do with his hands. I like the recipe that I use because it involves a lot of stirring, which Zach happily does while I put items back or grab a cleaning rag.
4. MODEL AND TRUST: Our recipe involves cracking two eggs. I crack the first one slowly into a small bowl, pausing after each step, while Zach watches. Then I ask him if he wants to do the second egg. The first couple of times, he said, “Mommy do it”. The last two times we’ve made muffins he’s cracked the egg on his own, exclaiming “Zachy did it!”.
5. TALK, TALK, TALK: Baking is the ideal time to increase your toddler’s vocabulary. I give Zach the names of the equipment and ingredients, and isolate the name of each action as I am doing it (e.g. “CRACK the egg”, “stir”, “grate”, etc.). However, if Zach is engrossed in an activity, I hold my tongue until he’s done so I don’t break his concentration! I can always point out what he did afterwards: “You cracked the egg by yourself!”
6. TAKE TURNS: If there’s something that your toddler is not quite able to do yet (like for Zach, grating carrots effectively) take turns. Show him how to do it, then tell him it’s his turn. Give him a chance to try and then say, “When you are finished, it’s my turn again”. If he’s struggling or doesn’t feel capable, you’re giving him a pressure-free way of passing the baton back to you without having to say “I can’t do it”. And when he wants to take charge, you’ll know because he’ll exclaim: “My turn!”
7. INSPIRE, THEN RETIRE: When your child is ready to take charge, let him. I used to spoon the batter into the muffin cups and have Zach use the spatula to help scrape the batter from the spoon to the cups. Eventually, he decided he wanted to take charge: now he scoops the batter with the spoon, and I’m his helper with the spatula!
8. CLEAN UP: As soon as those muffins make it into the oven, I give Zach a wet rag and ask him to wipe down the counter. Then he gets down from his Learning Tower and I give him the bag of flour, the carrots, and the carton of eggs to take to the fridge (one at a time). Then I tell him to take the measuring spoons and the platic mixing bowl to the sink. I also tell him to throw the egg shells and carrot tops into the trash. Finally, he uses the dustpan and brush to clean up any flour that fell on the floor. I don’t ask if he wants to help clean up; I tell him with a smile: “It’s time to clean up now.” I also don’t ask, “Can you wipe the counter?”. I show my confidence in him by stating, “You can wipe the counter.”
9. SHARE HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS: When my husband comes home, Zachary serves us all muffins and we tell daddy everything we did to make them. I point out to my husband the steps in which Zach was involved, and make note of any new achivements (i.e. “Today Zach cracked an egg by himself!”). This, more than praise, helps a child understand that his contribution to the family is appreciated and sets the foundations for meta-cognition (self-evaluation of one’s own learning process).
And above all…
10. CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE: You might think that baking with your toddler is a cute and endearing activity, but for your child it is serious business. He’s mastered a wide range of skills in his first two years of life, and now he’s being driven to understand: “What is my place in this family? How do I fit in? How do I contribute?” Practical life for your toddler is not about looking cute in an apron; it’s about self-reliance and contributing to the well-being of his social group (in a toddler’s case, his immediate family). Make sure your approach reflects the importance of the activity!
Be patient, maintain a healthy perspective, and HAPPY COOKING!
Whole Wheat Carrot-Pineapple Muffins
(makes 12 small or 7-8 large muffins)
Ingredients:
1.5 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp cinnammon
2 eggs
2/3 cups brown sugar
2/3 cup vegetable or coconut oil (melted)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup grated carrot (about 1 large or 2-3 small carrots)
1 cup crushed pineapple (drained)
OVEN TEMP: Pre-heat to 350F
1. Work with your toddler to scoop each of the dry ingredients into a small mixing bowl (flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnammon)
2. Let your toddler stir the dry ingredients to his heart’s content, showing him how to hold the bowl with one hand and stir with the other.
3. Show your toddler how to crack an egg into a small bowl. Ask him if he’d like to have a turn. Remove any shells that fall into the bowl.
4. Let your toddler transfer the eggs into a larger mixing bowl. Work with him to add the following ingredients: brown sugar, oil, and vanilla extract.
5. Let your toddler stir the wet ingredients to his heart’s content (one hand on the bowl!)
6. Show your toddler how to grate carrots and ask if he wants a turn. Try not to be paranoid about him grating his fingers off. If he’s not into grating, take a turn and finish the job.
7. Drain the pineapple and measure it.
8. Take a turn stirring the dry and wet ingredients in their respective bowls, to ensure they are well mixed.
9. Have your toddler transfer the dry ingredients into the bowl with the wet ingredients.
10. CAUTION: This batter should NOT be over-mixed, or your muffins will be too dense! Let your toddler stir three or four times and then you should “take a turn”. Gently fold the ingredients until JUST mixed (some dry flour should still be visible) and then ask your toddler to add in the carrots and pineapple.
11. Finish folding in the carrots and pineapple gently. Did I mention not to over-mix?
12. Have your toddler put the muffin cups into the muffin baking tray.
13. Show your toddler how to spoon batter into the cups, using a spatula to scrape off the sticky mixture from the spoon. Your batter should stick to the spoon pretty well, making it easy for a toddler to transfer it to the cups without dribbling it everywhere. The cups should be no more than 3/4 full.
14. Put the muffins into the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until you insert a toothpick and it comes out clean. When the muffins are ready, take them out and let them cool IN THE BAKING TIN for 10-15 minutes.
15. Clean up with as much enthusiasm as you cooked.
Dr. Montessori realized early on that young children were concrete thinkers. This means that their brains have a hard time interpreting concepts that cannot be isolated and experienced through the five senses. Color is one such concept. Hues are almost always connected to an object: “red” apple, “blue” sky, “yellow” duck. The very young child struggles to separate the name of the color from the object it belongs to, and this can bring about imprecise impressions that take time and effort to sort out.
To support the child’s precise assimilation of these concepts, Dr. Montessori developed the Sensorial materials. She isolated the concept – in our example, color – and made everything else about the material the same. The Color Tablets vary only in color and can be sorted and classified, allowing the child to have a clear and tangible experience of an otherwise abstract concept. We in Montessori refer to these tangible experiences of abstract concepts as “materialized abstractions”.
There are some abstract ideas, however, that can’t be completely “materialized”, and which only become accessible through daily life experiences once the brain reaches a certain level of maturity. One of these is time. In Elementary, we have a material that the children use to learn to read an analog clock. We also provide children with experiences that allow them to “feel” and “see” the passage of time, but the concept can only be truly grasped when the brain is ready to do so. 
Cooking gives children many opportunities to experience the passage of time, and it’s one reason why it’s one of my favorite developmental tools. During our recent Thanksgiving feast preparation, a six-year old and a seven-year old were making cornbread in a crock pot. The recipe called for the bread to be cooked in the slow cooker for two hours.
The seven-year old took one of our two kitchen timers, the type that goes up to 60 minutes and is set by twisting a knob, and turned to me: “The recipe says ‘two hours’. Our timer only goes to sixty minutes. How do we time the bread?”
I said, “Hmmm, what could you do?”
The boy thought for a second and his face lit up. “We can turn the timer to 60 minutes and when it rings, we can turn it to 60 minutes again!”
The six-year old, who had been listening quietly to the exchange, suddenly got very agitated. He took the other kitchen timer, ran over to us, and cried out with excitement: “No, I have a better idea! Let’s set BOTH timers! One hour and one hour makes TWO hours!!!”
It was a grey and rainy afternoon. Zach had just woken up from his nap and my husband wouldn’t be home for two more hours. I had a sinus infection and had no desire to move, but explain that to a toddler…
I had to make something for dinner, so while Zach trashed explored the kitchen cabinets I pulled out a bean curry I had made the night before. It needed some greens, so I quickly chopped up some kale. I was about to toss it into the pot (hello, automatic pilot) when I realized something:
bored toddler + chopped kale = practical life heaven!
I told him I needed his help, put him in the tower and helped him to wash his hands. Then I put the kale in a bowl and showed him how to transfer it to the pot. I stood back and let my little chef get to work. Pure bliss for both of us!
PS: I know I should make him an apron. It’s on my to-do list entitled “Things to make at 3am when I can’t sleep because I’m thinking of everything I have to do“.
You might think that the home of a Montessori teacher is like a miniature classroom, with shelf after shelf of perfect little materials and not a plastic object in sight. That might be true for some teachers’ homes, but not for ours! We have a little cupboard that holds a few activities: musical instruments, a basket of containers, nesting cups, and a couple of books. He also has a Ball Tower, a basket with assorted balls, a push toy, and a couple of stacking toys. That’s pretty much it.
Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t have time to make beautiful little trays with activities Zach might benefit from. But then I realize that his entire day provides plenty of opportunities for physical and mental development.
I want to share some of the things we do during the day so that if you’re in the same boat as me (working, cooking, cleaning) you will feel better knowing that when you give your toddler the opportunity to engage in the activities of daily life, you provide all the stimulation he needs. No cute trays or expensive materials required!
Toileting: He goes to the bathroom as part of his daily routine: upon waking, before and after meals, before and after naps, before leaving the house and upon returning, and before bedtime. Apart from the obvious benefit of helping him develop independence, care of self and awareness, it’s also a wonderful time to engage one-on-one without distractions. We sing songs, read books, or just look into each other’s eyes and smile. He loves to empty his potty into the toilet (!!!), open the wipes container, and pull out a wipe, which are great opportunities to practice fine and gross motor skills (and help me develop nerves of steel).
Dressing and undressing: Zach sits on a stool in his room, then I tell him the name of each piece of clothing and explain what I’m going to do before I do it. He helps by undoing the velcro on his shoes, lifting his arms and feet to put on his shirt and socks, and pulling off his shirt once I get it up around his head. These activities help him develop language, independence, care of self, sequencing, order, and fine and gross motor skills.
Cooking: On the days I don’t have to go to work, he helps me to make breakfast by picking the eggs and scrambling them in a bowl. Then he watches the rest of the cooking process from his Learning Tower. Cooking is a great opportunity to develop independence and coordination. It also lets him see that he’s contributing to family’s well-being, and allows him to develop patience. Cooking is actually exposing him to a myriad different subjects, from language to chemistry to botany, although he doesn’t know it yet!
Mealtimes: He eats breakfast and dinner with mom and dad, using silverware (with a little help), real china, and a glass & pitcher. He has lunch and post-nap snack at his weaning table, and is even learning how to pour a smoothie from his pitcher to his glass! We are working on establishing a clean-up routine that keeps him engaged, because right now he’s more interested in dashing off to play than in sponging up spills (this will come with age…). Meals allow him to practice grace & courtesy, and help him develop fine motor skills and independence. Meals are also prime opportunities for establishing and upholding limits, and letting him experience natural and logical consequences. 
Play: Zach has lots of time for free, unstructured play, both at the park and at home. At the park he’s free to roam, check out other kids’ toys, climb structures and go down the slide, and play in the sand. I stay in one spot, approaching him only if he’s in danger of falling from a play structure or if he’s engaging in inappropriate behavior (like mistreating someone’s toy or eating someone’s snack). These activities offer countless opportunities for developing gross & fine motor skills, independence, problem-solving abilities, social skills, and risk assessment. I have to say I underestimated the importance of socialization for young toddlers. He has learned so much (both the good and the not-so-good) from watching other children who are slightly older. He often gets into heated “arguments” over a toy. These encounters sometimes end in tears but more often than not the two children figure things out on their own! At home he can play with his toys, look at books, or work outdoors transferring dirt from one container to another. We also put on music and dance! I let him take the lead on what he wants to do. If he seems restless indoors, I simply open the door to the patio and normally that will spur him into action.
Over the months, I’ve tried taking Zach to baby yoga, music & dance classes, baby sign language… You name it! It seemed like “everyone” was doing it, and I wanted to see what the hype was about. I quickly discovered that – at least for my child – these classes do not provide much benefit and are really just an added stress that interferes with our routine. Adults welcome change in their day, and I know many moms find these classes a great opportunity to socialize, but babies can find the hectic schedule difficult to handle. What has worked best for us is a steady, rhythmic, predictable day. Boring is good: knowing what comes next gives your baby security, and it lets you prepare an environment that will support his growth. No cute trays or expensive materials required!
You know that useless, in-the-way feeling you get when you’re a guest at someone’s house and they won’t let you help? I’ve always wondered if that’s how young children feel in their own homes when we exclude them from practical tasks. We buy them little kitchens, wooden food items, and plastic tea sets, but perhaps what they really want is to participate in our daily activities!
Case in point: One day, around the time of his first birthday, Zach began screaming and pulling at my pant leg while I was cooking. To avoid ending up with my pants around my ankles, I threw on a sling and popped him on my hip. I went back to my work and the crying immediately stopped.
At first I thought this was because he had gotten what he wanted: to be carried. But then I noticed that he was intensely focused on the chopped vegetables I was transferring to a pot. His eyes followed my hand as it moved from the chopping board to the pressure cooker and back.
I leaned in over the chopping board and told him to grab some chard. He took a small amount in his chubby fist and I moved over to the stove. I held my hand under his arm so he wouldn’t accidentally burn himself on the pot and he dropped in the vegetables. We repeated the procedure a dozen times, until we eventually ran out of chard, which led to a cry of protest on his part.
We’ve repeated this transferring activity a few times since that day. This is a messy process since many veggies miss their intended target, but his engagement and concentration make the clean-up worthwhile.
However, I knew that he couldn’t possibly associate what he tossed in the pot at 3pm with what he ate for dinner three hours later. I wanted him to experience an entire cycle, from prepping to cooking to eating.
Recently, my husband and sister-in-law made a Learning Tower for Zach. They used this tutorial, but you can also buy a pre-built tower online. I also ordered a few items from For Small Hands, among them a child-sized mixing bowl and whisk.
I told my 14-month old that he would be helping me to make scrambled eggs for breakfast. I put him in the tower, helped him wash his hands, and set out the necessary tools and ingredients. I stood to his right side and cracked three eggs into the bowl, making sure my movements were slow and methodical, so he could absorb each step.
I started whisking the eggs while holding the bowl, and then offered the whisk to Zach. He immediately caught on and began imitating my movements with surprisingly little mess. I kept one hand on the bowl and tipped it slightly in his direction so he could see the contents. At one point, he gingerly put his fingers into the bowl. I thought he might start making a mess, but he just felt around for a few seconds and pulled out his hand.
While we worked, the oil was heating up in the pan. I showed Zach how to season the eggs, then moved his tower close to the stove (but at a safe distance to avoid any oil splatter from reaching him). He watched attentively as I poured the eggs into the pan.
The first time we did this activity, he started screaming as soon as he realized the eggs scrambling in the pan were his breakfast – he wanted to eat NOW! I talked him through the waiting process, knowing that he needed to experience the entire cycle. When we cooked together again a few mornings later, he was able to maintain his composure until the eggs were ready.
Parents always want to know how they can “do Montessori” at home.
One word: COOK.
PS: For more inspiration, check out Home Grown Montessori’s post on cooking with children. This amazing momma/Montessori guide (and good friend) involves her children in just about every household activity, with beautiful results!
Last week I wrote about our experience with the Jaramillo Soup. The beauty of this soup is that you can make it with whatever you have in your fridge, so it’s economical and uncomplicated. When I started making it for Zach, I began by giving him 2 oz. three times per day, mixed with breast milk (plus nursing on-demand the rest of the day). This meant that I was making about 1/3 of the recipe featured here. I gradually increased the amount of soup based on his demands and hunger level. By six months of age, he’s drinking four 9-oz. bottles of soup each day (plus purees for lunch and dinner made from other things like sweet potato, corn & spinach, etc. to practice spoon feeding).* When you see how much he eats you’ll find it shocking and cruel that anyone would expect THIS big baby to be on a breast milk-only diet until he turned six months.
*Since I started this post a week ago (hello, busy life) I have weaned Zach from the bottles and I’m spoon-feeding him 100%. This is described at the end of the post.
Ingredients:
Vegetables
Legumes & grains (soak all legumes and brown rice the night before)
Animal protein (a portion approximate to the size of your baby’s palm)
*Liver can cause constipation but it’s a great source of nutrition, so play it by ear and go easy at first.
Fruits
Optional: DHA cod liver oil for babies (2-3 ml) or a tbsp. of quality olive oil
Water: Ideally use spring water or reverse osmosis water, but at least use purified water (no tap water!!)
Equipment: pressure cooker (or regular soup pot, but it takes longer)*, blender, ceramic or glass bowl, glass bottles, cross-cut nipples (use a sharp knife to cut a cross in the nipple so the soup will go through).
*I have a T-Fal pressure cooker; it’s affordable and works really well.
Instructions:
The night before, measure out the legumes and grains and leave them soaking in two cups of purified water in a glass or ceramic bowl (no plastic, even if it’s BPA-free!). You can
also prep baggies with washed and pre-measured veggies for the whole week (note: if your veggies are not organic, make sure you disinfect them with grapefruit seed extract). Do the same thing for the animal protein; portion the meats, wrap them in parchment paper and then put them in baggies to freeze.
In the morning, pour the legumes and grains into your pot with the water they soaked in, and add the vegetables and animal protein. DO NOT put in the fruits or oil, and DO NOT use any sweeteners or seasonings.
Cover the pressure cooker and turn on the heat as hight as it will go. When it has built up pressure and starts steaming, turn down the heat to medium-low (just enough to maintain pressure) and set a timer for 15 minutes. Alternately, you can pressure cook the grains and legumes for 10 minutes, bring down the pressure, add the veggies and protein, increase the pressure again, and pressure cook for five more minutes (I just find this to be more of a hassle). If you are using a regular pot, you will have to let the grains
and legumes cook for about 45 minutes, then add the veggies and cook for an additional 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, put the fruits and oil in a blender. When the timer goes off, quick-release the pressure and transfer all the soup ingredients from the pot to the blender. Blend on the highest setting for at least 30 seconds, or until everything has been perfectly pureed because little chunks of food can clog the nipples. (I bought a $15 Oster blender with a glass blender jar, and it works great on
“liquify” mode). If the soup is too thick, add a little more water or some 100% organic fruit juice (I like prune, pear, or apple). It takes a few days to get the consistency just right; have a toothpick handy to unclog the nipple if necessary.
Pour the soup into the bottles, screw on the nipples, put on the caps and put the bottles immediately into the fridge. Try to put them on a bottom shelf, not in the door racks, so that they’ll stay very cold. If your fridge isn’t very cold, put ice in a large container and nestle the bottles among the ice, and then put the whole thing in the fridge. Failure to cool down the bottles can cause your baby to have gas, especially with the afternoon and evening feedings.
It sounds like a huge hassle to make the soup, but it’s actually quite quick once you have a system. It takes me about 30 minutes each morning, and I can rest assured knowing that my child has wholesome, healthy, and home-cooked meals for the rest of the day.
CAVEAT: You MUST makethe soup fresh each day. This soup should not be stored overnight nor should it be frozen. Your child deserves fresh food to get off to a healthy start!
To heat up the bottles, you can use a bottle warmer (I have the Dr. Brown’s warmer and it works great if you set it for 5:30 minutes). Always make sure to shake the bottle thoroughly to even out the soup temperature and test the soup on your hand before giving to baby. The soup should be served warm.
If you are going out, take the soup in a thermal bag with ice and make sure it stays as cold as possible. To reheat on the go, ask for a large cup half-filled with hot water and immerse the bottle for 5-7 minutes, then shake.
It is also possible to make the soup thicker and spoon-feed it to baby. Now that Zach is eating really well with a spoon, I am making three separate purees from the items I cook (I still cook everything in one pot but I use less liquid during blending to ensure a thicker consistency):
In just two days, he successfully weaned from using the bottles, which he had been using since he turned 3 months. He LOVES to eat with a spoon and has made great progress in that department.
This soup has changed our lives for the better. Our child is happy, healthy, strong, and sleeps like a champ. It’s never too late to start making it! If you have any questions on how to make it, please e-mail me or leave a comment.
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