Mealtime with Baby

Table manners… Healthy eating habits… Self-control. We all want our children to develop these abilities, but it’s hard for parents to know how and when to start! Did you know that children have the potential to develop these qualities from the time they start showing interest in solid food?

While you might think it’s impossible to instill these qualities in your baby or toddler, it’s really not that hard if you have the right expectations and tools.  Click here to learn more about Montessori mealtimes and then watch a short video!

Show & Tell

It might seem like Montessori parents like to show off what their children can do: “Look, my baby can drink from a glass!  My toddler can slice a cucumber!”  But honestly, our excitement has nothing to do with bragging.  At least for me, sharing my son’s accomplishments is about telling other people: “Look what YOUR child is capable of, and imagine the sense of competence YOUR child can develop!”

Parents who are new to Montessori often observe a classroom and think: “My child would never fit in.  He’s not capable of doing what those children can, or of behaving like those children do.”  I want you to know that, although all children develop at their own pace, your child CAN become self-sufficient at an early age.  Why is this important?  Because research confirms that children whose independence is supported feel capable of dealing with life’s challenges, have a higher sense of self-worth, and tend to have a more intrinsic motivation to learn.

Remember, too, that it’s never too late to modify your approach if you realize you have been holding back your child.  You might get some resistance at first, but if you know what every child is capable of, it will be easier for you to transmit trust and confidence to your child.

Here’s a great perspective from the book “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years” by Jane Nelsen:

When a baby is born, she is all but helpless.  It takes days, weeks, and months before she learns to control her own movements, reach and grasp, and walk on her own.  In her early weeks and months, your job as her parent is to keep her safe, to tend to her needs, to comfort her when she cries, and to be patient – very patient.  But as she grows into toddlerhood, you may be surprised at how much she can do that can help her develop a sense of capability.  On the other hand, if you do too much for her (in the name of love), she is likely to form the belief that she is not capable… Words alone are not powerful enough to build a sense of competence and confidence in children.  Capability comes from experiences of accomplishment and self-sufficiency, and from developing solid skills.

Why Boring is Good

You might think that the home of a Montessori teacher is like a miniature classroom, with shelf after shelf of perfect little materials and not a plastic object in sight. That might be true for some teachers’ homes, but not for ours! We have a little cupboard that holds a few activities: musical instruments, a basket of containers, nesting cups, and a couple of books. He also has a Ball Tower, a basket with assorted balls, a push toy, and a couple of stacking toys.  That’s pretty much it.

Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t have time to make beautiful little trays with activities Zach might benefit from.  But then I realize that his entire day provides plenty of opportunities for physical and mental development.

I want to share some of the things we do during the day so that if you’re in the same boat as me (working, cooking, cleaning) you will feel better knowing that when you give your toddler the opportunity to engage in the activities of daily life, you provide all the stimulation he needs. No cute trays or expensive materials required!

Toileting: He goes to the bathroom as part of his daily routine: upon waking, before and after meals, before and after naps, before leaving the house and upon returning, and before bedtime.  Apart from the obvious benefit of helping him develop independence, care of self and awareness, it’s also a wonderful time to engage one-on-one without distractions.  We sing songs, read books, or just look into each other’s eyes and smile.  He loves to empty his potty into the toilet (!!!), open the wipes container, and pull out a wipe, which are great opportunities to practice fine and gross motor skills (and help me develop nerves of steel).

Dressing and undressing: Zach sits on a stool in his room, then I tell him the name of each piece of clothing and explain what I’m going to do before I do it.  He helps by undoing the velcro on his shoes, lifting his arms and feet to put on his shirt and socks, and pulling off his shirt once I get it up around his head.  These activities help him develop language, independence, care of self, sequencing, order, and fine and gross motor skills.

Cooking: On the days I don’t have to go to work, he helps me to make breakfast by picking the eggs and scrambling them in a bowl.  Then he watches the rest of the cooking process from his Learning Tower.  Cooking is a great opportunity to develop independence and coordination.  It also lets him see that he’s contributing to family’s well-being, and allows him to develop patience.  Cooking is actually exposing him to a myriad different subjects, from language to chemistry to botany, although he doesn’t know it yet!

Mealtimes: He eats breakfast and dinner with mom and dad, using silverware (with a little help), real china, and a glass & pitcher.  He has lunch and post-nap snack at his weaning table, and is even learning how to pour a smoothie from his pitcher to his glass!  We are working on establishing a clean-up routine that keeps him engaged, because right now he’s more interested in dashing off to play than in sponging up spills (this will come with age…).  Meals allow him to practice grace & courtesy, and help him develop fine motor skills and independence.  Meals are also prime opportunities for establishing and upholding limits, and letting him experience natural and logical consequences. 

Play: Zach has lots of time for free, unstructured play, both at the park and at home.  At the park he’s free to roam, check out other kids’ toys, climb structures and go down the slide, and play in the sand.  I stay in one spot, approaching him only if he’s in danger of falling from a play structure or if he’s engaging in inappropriate behavior (like mistreating someone’s toy or eating someone’s snack).  These activities offer countless opportunities for developing gross & fine motor skills, independence, problem-solving abilities, social skills, and risk assessment. I have to say I underestimated the importance of socialization for young toddlers.  He has learned so much (both the good and the not-so-good) from watching other children who are slightly older.  He often gets into heated “arguments” over a toy.  These encounters sometimes end in tears but more often than not the two children figure things out on their own!  At home he can play with his toys, look at books, or work outdoors transferring dirt from one container to another.  We also put on music and dance!  I let him take the lead on what he wants to do.  If he seems restless indoors, I simply open the door to the patio and normally that will spur him into action.

Over the months, I’ve tried taking Zach to baby yoga, music & dance classes, baby sign language… You name it!  It seemed like “everyone” was doing it, and I wanted to see what the hype was about.  I quickly discovered that – at least for my child – these classes do not provide much benefit and are really just an added stress that interferes with our routine.  Adults welcome change in their day, and I know many moms find these classes a great opportunity to socialize, but babies can find the hectic schedule difficult to handle.  What has worked best for us is a steady, rhythmic, predictable day.  Boring is good: knowing what comes next gives your baby security, and it lets you prepare an environment that will support his growth.  No cute trays or expensive materials required!

Breaking Bread

My twelve-month old son loves LOVES bread.  If it were up to him, he’d eat nothing but bread at all three meals.  When he was younger, I could give him his food and then offer a piece of bread and he’d be content with the arrangement, but now that he’s keenly aware of the goings-on at the dinner table, he’s realized that there’s bread available at dinnertime.  Of course, to him that means that he can have bread instead of all the other food, and he’s prepared to throw a tantrum to get his way.  Being of Spanish descent, I’m not about to give up eating bread with a meal just because Zach is still developing impulse control.  Quite the opposite: I now make it a point to include bread with dinner precisely so he can work on this skill.

I recently read this insightful post by Janet Lansbury, and thinking of her advice helped me stay calm during a recent limit-setting opportunity.  Here’s what transpired…

We were having a tasty minestrone soup for dinner, with our usual bread.  Zach ate a couple of spoonfuls of soup, saw that his dad was eating bread with the soup, and decided he simply had to have bread.  He pointed wildly at the bread and made loud noises, so I said “You want some bread with your soup” and gave him a smallish piece.  He happily ate his bread and when it was gone he demanded some more.  I told him: “First you need to eat more soup and then you can have bread.”  I offered him a spoonful of soup and, as you might imagine, he lost it.

He gave an infuriated wail and then went into “silent-turning-purple” crying.  “He’s winding up,” my husband announced and sure enough, Zach finally let out a loud angry cry.  It took everything I had not to hand over the bread, not so much because his crying bothered me, but because I know it stresses my husband, and that in turn stresses me.  “First have some soup and then you may have some bread,” I repeated calmly, offering another spoonful.  Zach wailed and babbled, presumably telling me how much he wanted bread.  “I understand you want bread,” I said.  “But you also need to eat soup.”

He kept crying so my husband and I went back to eating our own soup.  It certainly wasn’t fun to eat while he screamed, but I had a feeling that this was a powerful teaching moment to help him understand that tantruming was not the way to achieve his goals.  Every couple of minutes I offered a spoonful of soup and he batted it away.  Without reacting, I would put the spoon down and go back to my meal.  Zach eventually saw he wasn’t getting anywhere with all the crying, so he calmed down.  I offered him some soup and he accepted several spoonfuls.  Then he gestured for bread and I gave him some.  Now, here comes the cool part: He finished his bread and not only did he not ask for more, but he grabbed for the spoon to have more soup!  We finished the rest of the meal in peace, with only a glistening crocodile tear on Zach’s cheek as a reminder of his outburst.

Last night we again had bread with our meal, and enjoyed all the food peacefully and in a balanced manner.  Will this be the last tantrum?  Hardly!  But I was glad to see that even at 12 months of age, children can understand limits and begin to develop impulse control.  And I was relieved that I was strong enough to maintain my resolve and composure during a crying fit, because that – not bread – is what he was really asking for.

Food Fight

Yesterday at the park I struck up a conversation with a grandmother who’s visiting from Argentina to help her daughter, who just had her second child.  The older sibling, a little girl named Carla, is only 15 months old.  Carla’s grandmother told me that the little girl’s world has been turned upside-down with the baby’s birth, and for the past week she has refused to eat anything except fruit.

Every couple of minutes, the grandmother would interrupt our conversation to walk across the playground and shove a blueberry into Carla’s mouth.  She told me how worried they all were, because prior to the baby’s arrival Carla had been a good eater.  I told her that food is one of the few things over which children have control (bowel movements being another, to a certain extent).  When they feel their world has become unpredictable, they try to gain a semblance of control by using the only means at their disposal.   Carla is a bright and perceptive little girl, so she understands that her food intake is of great interest to the adults around her.

From my experiences as a teacher, I know that food is a hot-button issue among parents.  Most of the calls I received after school were from parents complaining that I didn’t make their children finish their vegetables!   Several times I saw one desperate mother strap her child into the car seat after school and then force-feed him the remainder of his lunch… Scenes like these hurt my heart, because I understand that the parents have the best intentions but also know that they’re making matters worse and setting up their child for a lifelong dysfunctional relationship with food.

I loved this article on helping your child establish a healthy relationship with food from the beginning.  Everything it says is spot-on and following this advice will help prevent or heal food-related issues.  The article also reminded me of a story from my childhood, which I want to re-post from my old blog as an example that a child’s relationship with food will change when your approach to mealtimes does, too.

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When I was three years old, my family moved to a small condominium complex in Mexico City.  Our next-door neighbors, a registered nurse and her husband (a doctor), also had two young children.  The girl, Lorena, was my age, and we quickly became close friends.

Lorena was a pale and skinny little thing who was afraid of everything (including her over-bearing mother).  She would categorically refuse to eat anything except canned tuna fish.  Her mom would sit with her at the dinner table for hours, forcing her to gulp down cream of spinach or some other healthy food.  After hours of fighting (several times she even tied her down in desperation), her mom would break down and open a can of tuna.

Apart from the eating issue, Lorena suffered from a slew of “ailments”, including allergies to cats and mysterious rashes.  She took medicine constantly and was regularly covered in ointment to heal her hives.

When I turned five, my family and I moved to the countryside near San Diego.   My parents bought a beautiful hilltop  house with a swimming pool and two acres of open land.  The first summer we were there, my mom called Lorena’s mom and, after much negotiating, arranged for the little girl to travel with some relatives to San Diego so she could visit us for two months.

When Lorena arrived, she brought a small suitcase with her clothes, and a larger one filled with medication, ointments, and cans of tuna fish.  A letter from her mom stated: “Lorena is a very picky eater, and frankly it’s a struggle to get her to eat.  When you get tired of fighting with her, feel free to open a can of tuna since it’s the only thing she likes.”

My mom took one look at the quivering little girl, stashed the medications and tuna fish in the closet, and announced that it was lunch time.

“What’s for lunch?” my brother and I eagerly asked.

“Turkey sandwiches and carrot salad,” answered my mom.

“I don’t like turkey and I don’t eat carrots,” said Lorena.

“OK, then don’t eat,” replied my mom calmly.

“Can we eat her food?” we asked, ravenous after playing outside all morning.

“No, that’s Lorena’s food.  She’ll eat it when she’s ready,” answered my mom.

“I’m not going to eat,” replied the defiant five-year old, pushing her plate back and crossing her arms in front of her.  “I want tuna fish.”

“There’s no tuna fish,” said my mom patiently.  “There’s turkey sandwiches with carrot salad.”

My brother and I wolfed down our food, and when we were done, we grabbed Lorena’s hand and ran outside to play in the pool.  My mom put Lorena’s untouched food away and picked up the phone to arrange for swimming lessons, because five-year old Lorena didn’t know how to swim.

That evening, after chasing frogs, riding tricycles, and going down the water slide for five hours, we were called inside for dinner.

“I don’t want to eat any of that,” said Lorena upon eying the chicken, potatoes and vegetables my mom had prepared.

“Well,” answered my mom calmly,  “This is what’s for dinner.”

Lorena sat pouting with her arms crossed while my brother and I inhaled our portions and asked for seconds.

The next morning, we woke up to scrambled eggs and refried beans.

“I don’t like eggs or beans,” grumbled Lorena.

“Well, it’s what’s for breakfast,” answered my mom, while my brother and I piled our plates high.

To make a long story short, Lorena went on a two-day hunger strike.

On the third day, my mom served Lorena her usual portion of whatever was on the menu, and Lorena ate.  And ate.  And ate.

She ate vegetables, chicken, meat, potatoes, rice, eggs, milk, fish, fruit, and everything else my mother served her from then on.

Over her two month stay, the frail weakling of a child gained 10 pounds, achieved a healthy sun-kissed glow, and learned to swim.  Her allergies never manifested themselves (even though we had two cats) and she didn’t have a single rash during her entire eight-week stay.

Towards the end of the visit, my mom arranged for Lorena’s mom to spend a week with us in San Diego before flying back with her daughter.  When Lorena found out her mom would be arriving the next day, she broke into a rash and pooped in the pool.

And she refused to eat anything other than tuna fish for the rest of the stay.

Using a Fork (with video)

During the past few months, I’ve given Zach many opportunities to explore eating with his fingers.  On several occasions I’ve offered him small pieces of fruit or steamed vegetables that he can grab with his hands and bring to his mouth.  I thought he would find this enjoyable, since he loves to eat, but it’s actually been super-frustrating for him!

Because he’s only 8 months old and hasn’t developed fine motor control yet, he can’t grasp the pieces with a coordinated pincer grip.  He manages to use his thumb and index finger quite well, but then the food gets stuck to his hand and he ends up putting half his fist in his mouth in a desperate attempt to get some food.  This frustrates him greatly and sends him into crying mode, so I decided to stop for a while and wait for his coordination to improve.  I’ve also tried giving him large pieces of fruit that he can hold in his hand and munch on, but he ends up taking huge bites that he can’t mash with his gums, and he freaks me out when he starts to gag and turn red, so that’s not working either.  He does very well with bread rolls and veggie puffs, and we can see how happy he is when he’s feeding himself, but the fruit isn’t working well just yet.

Today I received some amazing white peaches from our CSA.  I wanted Zach to experience the joy of biting into a super-sweet late summer peach, so I cut up half a peach into small bite-sized pieces and placed them in front of him after his meal.  He tried grabbing one piece, it got stuck on his hand, and he wailed in frustration.  I pulled the sticky piece off his hand and he grabbed my wrist to lead my fingers to his mouth!  This gave me an idea…

I took out a small fork, speared a piece of peach and fed it to Zach.  He was delighted!  So, I speared another small piece but this time I left the fork sitting on the edge of the plate.  Zach immediately grabbed it, brought it to his mouth, and expertly pulled off the piece of peach with his lips.  We repeated the process and Zach happily ate the rest of his peach with his fork!  Not once did he poke himself, and he had a great time feeding himself with minimal intervention.

I’ve read on mainstream parenting websites that you shouldn’t introduce the fork until after 12 months of age because babies can poke their eyes or hurt their gums.  I had used the fork to feed him fruit before, and it was clear that Zach knew exactly what the utensil was for.  He didn’t wave it near his face, nor did he stab himself in the mouth.  A little trust goes a long way when working with babies, I feel.

We tried it again in the evening with my husband and I took some video of the process.  I’m really excited that Zach is exploring yet another facet of independent eating.  His eagerness and focus let me know that we’re on the right track.

Child-Sized: Spoons

I had a hard time finding small spoons for Zach that were made out of metal.  Apparently, most manufacturers believe that a baby will hurt himself if they don’t coat the spoon in soft plastic.  For a while we used the Nuk spoons because at least they were a good size and the handle was metal.  Then, I found these spoons on Amazon.  They are perfect for little mouths and little hands, and yet they are the real thing, made of stainless steel with a nice weight and finish.  Zach didn’t even blink when I changed from the Nuk spoons to these!

If you’re preparing to introduce solids to your little one, I really recommend these spoons (they also make forks and knives, which I will test out in a few months).

Montessori Mealtimes

I come from a Hispanic culture, where mealtimes are sacred.  As children, we were expected to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner sitting down at the table.  We were also expected to remain seated throughout the meal, have appropriate table manners, and join in or at least listen to the conversation.  Weekend meals at home and in restaurants were three-hour affairs, especially as my brother and I got older and could partake in adult discussions about politics and current events.

Those times around the table were the happiest moments of my childhood.  I felt accepted, respected, and part of a unit.  I learned to debate my viewpoint and accept counter-arguments.  I discovered that food wasn’t just sustenance; it embodied culture, heritage, family history, art, science, pleasure and yes, even some pain.  Mealtimes taught me discipline, respect for my elders, pride in my cultural heritage, and the joy of service. 

I want the same experiences for our child, and I know that to get there I have to start now.  I want Zach to understand that mealtime is a pleasurable moment of the day where one can relax, converse, and savor food.  I also want him to understand that there are certain expectations during mealtime: he should remain seated until everyone has finished; he shouldn’t play with his food; he should try at least two bites of everything; and he should join in the conversation or listen attentively.  To parents whose children get up and run around the dining room, play with their food, eat only chicken nuggets, or demand to watch TV during mealtimes, these expectations might seem a bit unreasonable.  I feel that they are achievable – and important – goals that any child can reach with the right preparation.

When Zach was younger and started eating solids, I would prepare his meal while he played on the floor and would bring him to the table when everything was ready.  Little by little, I’ve set up a mealtime routine that emphasizes the qualities I want to help him develop.  I always announce mealtime to him, place him in his Tripp-Trapp at the dining room table, and give him a toy so he can entertain himself while I warm up his meal.  When I first started doing this about 4 weeks ago, he would throw a fit from the moment I sat him down to the moment the first bite of food made it into his mouth.  As a very hungry five-month old, he did not understand the concept of waiting.  I persevered, letting him watch from the table as I prepared his food, telling him what I was doing each step of the way, and assuring him that his food would be ready soon.  This morning, I was amazed to see how much patience he has developed in just a few short weeks!  He no longer cries while he waits, and instead watches me as I move around the kitchen and plays quietly.  If you want to teach a child how to wait, the best way to do it is to give him opportunities to wait! 

I also want him to understand that we don’t get up from the table during mealtimes.  To model this behavior for him, I had to make sure I had everything necessary for his meal.  After a couple of weeks of kicking myself every time I realized that I had forgotten something in the kitchen, I decided to buy a tray. Problem solved!  Now, while his food is steaming, I prepare his glass bowls, cloth napkin, cleaning towel, spoon, glass, water pitcher, and fruit compote.  When his food is ready, I place it on the tray and bring everything to the table.  It’s such a relief to know that I have everything I need in one place! 

Right now Zach can’t leave the table until I take him out of his chair, but we chose his Tripp-Trapp precisely because it will give him the freedom to climb into and out of his chair when he starts walking.  I want Zach to develop the necessary discipline so that he can remain at the dinner table of his own accord,and this starts by modeling.  (If you think it isn’t possible for a toddler to sit for meals, I invite you to visit a Montessori Infant Community, where children as young as 15 months sit together for 20-30 minutes, enjoy their meal quietly and respectfully, and then clean up on their own).

While Zach eats, I talk with him.  I must admit that having one-sided conversations takes some imagination!  I tell him what he’s eating, ask him if he’s enjoying it, and discuss either what we’re going to do that day or what we did during the day.  I don’t ramble on during the entire meal, because it’s also important to let him focus on the act of eating and allow him to explore the flavors and textures of his food.  I make sure we establish eye contact while we talk, and I respond to his babbling with smiles and verbal acknowledgment.

During mealtimes, I make it a point not to answer the phone or check my e-mail and I expect my husband to do the same when he joins us for dinner.  Sometimes I have to put off eating dinner until Zach is done because I can’t juggle eating and feeding him at the same time, but at least we are all sitting together and Zach and his dad are enjoying each other’s company at the dinner table.

Montessori teachers are often reminded to “teach by teaching, not by correcting”.  This means that you should model appropriate behavior, set reasonable expectations, and prepare the environment so that you and your child are successful.  By so doing, you avoid having to nag, threaten, and punish.  It takes a bit of planning and discipline, but the results are worthwhile and extend to other areas of the child’s life!

Making the Soup

Last week I wrote about our experience with the Jaramillo Soup.  The beauty of this soup is that you can make it with whatever you have in your fridge, so it’s economical and uncomplicated.  When I started making it for Zach, I began by giving him 2 oz. three times per day, mixed with breast milk (plus nursing on-demand the rest of the day).  This meant that I was making about 1/3 of the recipe featured here.  I gradually increased the amount of soup based on his demands and hunger level.  By six months of age, he’s drinking four 9-oz. bottles of soup each day (plus purees for lunch and dinner made from other things like sweet potato, corn & spinach, etc. to practice spoon feeding).*  When you see how much he eats you’ll find it shocking and cruel that anyone would expect THIS big baby to be on a breast milk-only diet until he turned six months.

*Since I started this post a week ago (hello, busy life) I have weaned Zach from the bottles and I’m spoon-feeding him 100%.  This is described at the end of the post.

Ingredients:

Vegetables

• 1 chard leaf
• 1 kale leaf
• 1 lettuce leaf
• 1/2 zucchini
• 5 green beans
• 1 large broccoli floret
• 1 celery stalk
• 1/3 sweet potato

Legumes & grains (soak all legumes and brown rice the night before)

• 1 tbsp. mung or azuki beans (or any beans you have)
• 1 tbsp. green lentils (or yellow or brown)
• 1 tbsp. brown rice
• 1 tbsp. quinoa (doesn’t need to be soaked)

Animal protein (a portion approximate to the size of your baby’s palm)

• Dark meat chicken, grass-fed beef, chicken livers* or fatty fish (i.e. salmon)

*Liver can cause constipation but it’s a great source of nutrition, so play it by ear and go easy at first.

Fruits

• 1/2 avocado
• 1 sliver of papaya (approximate size = three of your fingers)
• 6 prunes
• five chunks of mango, 1/2 peach, handful of blueberries, OR any other seasonal fruits without the peel (note: NO bananas, strawberries, or citrus)

Optional: DHA cod liver oil for babies (2-3 ml) or a tbsp. of quality olive oil

Water: Ideally use spring water or reverse osmosis water, but at least use purified water (no tap water!!)

Equipment: pressure cooker (or regular soup pot, but it takes longer)*, blender, ceramic or glass bowl, glass bottles, cross-cut nipples (use a sharp knife to cut a cross in the nipple so the soup will go through).

*I have a T-Fal pressure cooker; it’s affordable and works really well.

Instructions:

The night before, measure out the legumes and grains and leave them soaking in two cups of purified water in a glass or ceramic bowl (no plastic, even if it’s BPA-free!).  You can

You can chop up the veggies or cook ’em whole.

also prep baggies with washed and pre-measured veggies for the whole week (note: if your veggies are not organic, make sure you disinfect them with grapefruit seed extract).  Do the same thing for the animal protein; portion the meats, wrap them in parchment paper and then put them in baggies to freeze.

I prep the veggies every Sunday.

In the morning, pour the legumes and grains into your pot with the water they soaked in, and add the vegetables and animal protein.  DO NOT put in the fruits or oil, and DO NOT use any sweeteners or seasonings.

Cover the pressure cooker and turn on the heat as hight as it will go.  When it has built up pressure and starts steaming, turn down the heat to medium-low (just enough to maintain pressure) and set a timer for 15 minutes.  Alternately, you can pressure cook the grains and legumes for 10 minutes, bring down the pressure, add the veggies and protein, increase the pressure again, and pressure cook for five more minutes (I just find this to be more of a hassle).  If you are using a regular pot, you will have to let the grains

Grains, legumes, veggies and animal protein ready to cook.

and legumes cook for about 45 minutes, then add the veggies and cook for an additional 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, put the fruits and oil in a blender.  When the timer goes off, quick-release the pressure and transfer all the soup ingredients from the pot to the blender.  Blend on the highest setting for at least 30 seconds, or until everything has been perfectly pureed because little chunks of food can clog the nipples.  (I bought a $15 Oster blender with a glass blender jar, and it works great on

“liquify” mode). If the soup is too thick, add a little more water or some 100% organic fruit juice (I like prune, pear, or apple).  It takes a few days to get the consistency just right; have a toothpick handy to unclog the nipple if necessary.

Pour the soup into the bottles, screw on the nipples, put on the caps and put the bottles immediately into the fridge.  Try to put them on a bottom shelf, not in the door racks, so that they’ll stay very cold.  If your fridge isn’t very cold, put ice in a large container and nestle the bottles among the ice, and then put the whole thing in the fridge.  Failure to cool down the bottles can cause your baby to have gas, especially with the afternoon and evening feedings.

Ready to blend…

It sounds like a huge hassle to make the soup, but it’s actually quite quick once you have a system.  It takes me about 30 minutes each morning, and I can rest assured knowing that my child has wholesome, healthy, and home-cooked meals for the rest of the day.

CAVEAT: You MUST makethe soup fresh each day.  This soup should not be stored overnight nor should it be frozen.  Your child deserves fresh food to get off to a healthy start!

To heat up the bottles, you can use a bottle warmer (I have the Dr. Brown’s warmer and it works great if you set it for 5:30 minutes).  Always make sure to shake the bottle thoroughly to even out the soup temperature and test the soup on your hand before giving to baby.  The soup should be served warm.

Yummy!

If you are going out, take the soup in a thermal bag with ice and make sure it stays as cold as possible.  To reheat on the go, ask for a large cup half-filled with hot water and immerse the bottle for 5-7 minutes, then shake.

It is also possible to make the soup thicker and spoon-feed it to baby.  Now that Zach is eating really well with a spoon, I am making three separate purees from the items I cook (I still cook everything in one pot but I use less liquid during blending to ensure a thicker consistency):

1. A puree made from legumes, grains, a 4-minute egg yolk and some pastured butter (this is for breakfast and mid-afternoon meal)
2. A puree made from veggies, animal protein, and cod liver oil (this is for lunch and dinner)
3. A puree made from the fruits and avocado (this is “dessert” after each meal)

   

   Bottoms up!

In just two days, he successfully weaned from using the bottles, which he had been using since he turned 3 months.  He LOVES to eat with a spoon and has made great progress in that department.

This soup has changed our lives for the better.  Our child is happy, healthy, strong, and sleeps like a champ.  It’s never too late to start making it!  If you have any questions on how to make it, please e-mail me or leave a comment.

The first time we tried spoon-feeding the soup… It’s gotten a lot better since then!

Montessori Weaning: Food and Independence (with video)

When Zach was around 4 months old, we started noticing that he was extremely interested in watching us eat.  He would follow our fork from plate to mouth, opening his mouth in imitation of our actions and salivating madly!  We knew the time had come to begin the weaning process.

The word “weaning” strikes fear in the heart of many parents.  It is associated with the end of breastfeeding and connotes depriving the child of the nourishment and affection he has come to know and love.  However, Montessori weaning is done with respect, always following the initiative and drive of the child.  It starts around the age of 5 months (but takes several months to complete) because that’s when the child shows physical and psychological signs of readiness:

• His iron reserves are decreasing;
• Digestive enzymes are present in his saliva;
• Teething starts;
• The child can move in his environment (rolling, creeping, etc.);
• He controls his hands well and uses them with purpose;
• The child is able to sit with some help;
• He shows a strong interest in the eating habits of those around him.

Weaning is a long process; the breast is still the main source of nutrition for several more months.  Weaning is less about nutrition and more about physical and psychological development.  (To learn the details of the weaning process, I recommend you read “Understanding the Human Being” by Dr. Silvana Montanaro, Director of Assistants to Infancy [0-3] training).

My husband and his sister made Zach a beautiful weaning table and chair when I was still pregnant, but any LOW table and chair will do for weaning (you can even buy an IKEA-style kids’ table and chair and cut the legs to make them lower to the ground).  We placed a pillow on the chair to support Zach’s back because he still tipped sideways a little bit on occasion. 

I pureed steamed zucchini and placed it in a ceramic bowl (if it were to fall it would have real consequences and would provide an important lesson to Zach, which plastic would fail to do).  My husband sat across the table from him and slowly began to feed him with a small spoon.  As recommended in the A to I training, we gave Zach another spoon to hold, but he was not at all interested in it.  He wanted to grab his daddy’s spoon and from the first bite was very active in his own feeding process. 

The video below shows how excited and focused he was.  Note how the food is brought close to his mouth, but the spoon is not inserted until Zach willingly opens his mouth.  Eating should be a pleasurable experience, and nothing ruins this for a child more than an obsessive parent who forcibly shovels food into a child’s mouth against his will.

Zach was delighted with his newfound abilities; we were thrilled at his development.  For us, nothing is more important than helping Zach in the road towards functional and psychological independence.  I love nursing him, but I also love knowing that I am satisfying his developmental needs.  

My husband asked me if I was proud of our son.  Actually, every normal child is capable of doing what my child is doing, so I don’t believe he’s achieved anything mind-blowing.  Those who I am proud of are my husband and myself, because we put his developmental needs before our emotional attachments, which can be challenging for any parent.

As Dr. Montanaro says in her book, “The road to independence is both biological and psychological and as one helps the other we must never separate the two.”  If we miss the opportunity to wean (or support any other milestone) when the child shows signs of readiness, “physically and psychologically we are preparing a difficult future.”